NOT BY THE HAIR OF MY CHIN-CHIN-CHIN
Remember that line from The Three Little Pigs? That was when kids’ books were kids’ books. Not like today.
Ok, I know it’s been a while since I shared my thoughts with you Dear Blog, but I really needed to tell someone this.
We both know I’m not the vainest person in this world but I am a bit concerned about my hair situation at the moment. Why you may ask? Well, I found a hair just under my chin. Like halfway towards the beginning of my neck. Just far enough under my chin so the general public cannot see it, but close enough for me to feel the offending hair.
When I first discovered it a few months ago I was trying to look like I was paying attention at a meeting but was just rubbing my chin (I do not understand why the hell I was doing that, but I was. Get over it). Then I felt this thing and I thought something was stuck to my chin. So I tugged. And it did not come out. So I tugged again a couple of times – by which time I’m sure I was looking pretty strange at the meeting – and out came this freakishly long, coiled hair. It was just revolting I tell you!
I thought I was done. But the freaking thing keeps growing back. It needs to back the hell up because I cannot be walking around armed with tweezers just because it could pop up unnoticed. And I have absolutely no intention of going for frequent tweezing. I mean, I just had to ask my little sister to pluck a hair from my chin! As in I am growing a beard. And I’m not even menopausal yet.
I know you may be reading this and thinking it’s a case of FWP (First World Problems, which are not so bad when you really think about them), it’s not. It’s a legitimate concern. Fine, I cannot compare myself with people who have hypertrichosis (Werewolf Syndrome), but I do not want to be enriching hair removal companies like the Kardashians do!
Is this part of growing older? I just turned 27. Are my hormones confused? Does this mean I should get prepared to buy a shaving kit for my face? Oh lawd no! I already shave my legs, I don’t want to have to shave my face too!
I must explain the legs story though…
When I was in class eight I read a magazine (which I’m sure was not targeted towards someone my age) and it had this article about the beauty of hair removal. So after seeing all these hairless (white) models I thought to myself: hmm, that is not a bad look. And I shaved my legs using my dad’s old razor. That was a stupid, stupid move! First, I’m sure that razor was rusted because my father does not shave at home so I could have infected myself with something. Second, I became addicted to the razor. Now I have to shave my legs every two or three days and it sucks when I have to shower in a rush because I don’t have time to give the legs the proper treatment.
And that is why I occasionally wear short skirts and dresses because a lot of effort goes into getting those legs hairless.
So please appreciate them (and me) when you see them. And don’t be looking at my chin.