LESSONS FROM MOTHERHOOD

I’m sitting in bed eating my second chapati of the evening, chased down with lemon and ginger tea sweetened with honey, because wine and chapo might not go too well together. My…

MEMORIES, DREAMS AND CORRIDOR STYLE

I grew up in Nairobi West, in a three-bedroom maisonette that had a relatively large compound that wrapped around the house, with grass; a compound big enough for us to do cartwheels…

INTRODUCING…THE CULTURED COW COOKS!

If you know me, then you know by now that I can never say no to good food, much to my own detriment. I’ve struggled with being confident about my weight ever…

THE GUESTS, THEY NEVER CAME

Disclaimer: I am not a big fan of the holidays. I am not filled with holiday cheer in the days leading up to Christmas or in the weird space between Boxing Day…

HAPPILY EVER AFTER (I LEAVE YOU)

I’ll start off by saying this: marriage is a beautiful thing, but it’s not a prize. It’s not the tape you cut at the end of the race, the gold medal you…

THE HOT LIST: #GuestsAreComing

Fun fact: I hated having guests over when I was younger. Hated it. My folks used to love hosting parties and having random people over for polite fun times that were not…

THIRTY TWO FOR THIRTY TWO

I turned thirty-two in September and I’ve been meaning to write this since then, but to be honest, life, procrastination and the need to step back a little means I’m writing it…

NO FLEAS HERE…

Have you ever been to a market? Not like, a market market, like Gikomba. No, not that type, though I really feel like I ought to go and explore it. I’m talking…

STRONG, DEPENDANT WOMAN

I’ve said it before: babies scare me. That includes mine. I’m terrified of my child, and I’ve often been unsure of what to do when left alone with her. That probably explains…

ONE YEAR LATER

Just over a year ago, I was lying in a hospital bed scared to death about having to push out a baby. Then I was told there wouldn’t be any pushing after…

AN URGE-NT INTERRUPTION

I’m lying on the masseuse’s table, covered in a plush white towel, enjoying the warm breeze coming in through the lattice door. The ocean is alive, and I’m really digging the sound…

LETTER TO A TROLL

Dear Miserable Troll, Thanks for writing to me about two weeks ago. I meant to write back sooner but I’ve been a little busy enjoying a nice, quiet, blessed life. I promised…

TRIED AND TESTED

Babies are nice. They love you unconditionally, smile their gummy little smiles when you walk into the room, look at you with such innocence and trust in their eyes that all you…

A WOMAN’S WOMAN

We’re raised to believe the lie that “women are their own worst enemies.” That a woman will never support another woman; that jealousy courses so strongly through our veins that we are…

THINK YOU’LL BREAK ME? NUT TODAY

I called her on a sunny Sunday morning. I got a little nervous once the phone started ringing. Would she be in church, or had I assumed that she, like me, didn’t…

BETRAYAL IN THE BAR

I’ve finally recovered from my hangover. One week later. I kid you not. I was out on Friday last week celebrating my former boss and then a friend’s birthday. It started with…

FAKE IT ‘TIL YOU MAKE IT

Have you ever felt like an impostor? No? Well lucky you then! I (sometimes) suffer from the Impostor Syndrome, like I don’t deserve to be where I am because I haven’t earned…

A LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER

Dear Gong, Before you, life was so much easier. We went out all the time, often coming back home in the wee hours of the morning, or even sometimes at noon the…

ARM-ED AND DANGEROUS(LY GREEDY)

I went swimming today, for the first time in a long time. The last time I went swimming, I was seven months pregnant, feeling really heavy, my nose occupied half my face…

MOM GUILT: A HARD INTRODUCTION

11.15pm. I’m watching Jane The Virgin. I’m convinced that the lead character (Jane, obviously) and I are more alike than I cared to admit in the past. I mean, we both like…

STOCKTAKING      

Yesterday I told My Lover I was going to title this post “Taking Stock.” Yesterday My Lover looked me dead in the eye and told me he hated the phrase. Today I’ve…

MIDAS ON THE CHEAP

Living a champagne lifestyle on a beer budget is hard you guys. The other day I went to the jeweler at Sarit to get my skinny gold chain – which I bought…

THE NANNY

10.30pm. I should be getting ready for bed. Gong is still sound asleep in her spot on the couch, where we’ve taken our evening naps every day since we brought her home…

A NEW NORMAL

FOR SALE!!! Little girl, 16 weeks old, light skin, likes to feed all day and fight sleep, enjoys bath time. Can be trained. Comes with toys. Call me. Price on request. Serious…

DADDY DUTIES

I’m seated on the couch having a very late dinner. My back hurts and my arms are a bit sore from carrying the baby all day. That, and my mind is tired…

THE PERFECT MOM

She’s eight weeks old now; our precious Gong. Eight weeks! Her father and I have kept another human being alive for eight whole weeks. It’s been one hell of an interesting ride,…

About Me

Quiet Storyteller | Mental Wanderer | Walking Paradox | I think with my fingers

Characterised by refined taste, manners and unapologetic self-deprecation, I am The Cultured Cow.
I look at life through very thick lenses and offer a sometimes verbose take on what I see, feel and think I know.

Welcome to my shed. You can have your own corner.

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